Let Sleeping Chefs Lie

Still full of couples

Below Deck Mediterranean | Bravo | Season 5 Episode 16: Cool as a Cucumber

This week on Below Deck Med: couples doing things! Just a guess, but let’s see what the crew of The Wellington actually got down to this week.

In the club, the yachties party some more, and they go back to the boat. Bugsy takes a tumble, but they all get back in one piece. Jess tries to talk to Rob, but he doesn’t want to engage and goes for a walk. He ignores everyone when he gets back, which really makes Jess angry and sad. Sadgry? In the morning Rob continues not wanting to talk and tells Jess he needs some space. Good luck with that? They argue, and seemingly wake everyone up.

Later, Jess breaks down to Bugsy and tells her that Rob wants to ‘hit eject’ on everything. Bugsy tries to play mediator and makes them sit together to talk. They do, and make up, again! Seeing a pattern here?

Aesha tells Malia she’s been feeling very homesick, which is why she was crying at the club. Later, she calls her brother and cries that she doesn’t want to be there. I can’t imagine being so far away from my family for so many months at a time.

Later, as the ship is docking in Mallorca, the boat suddenly loses power and alarms blare. Sandy says she can’t control the boat and they may hit or run over something. She says to drop the anchor as an engineer says he’s ‘sorting it out.’ He reboots the yacht, somehow, and the boat comes back to life. From the preview last week, this looked like a complete disaster; on the episode it lasted less than 5 minutes. I’m sure it was a bit scary, but you could tell they were really trying to ratchet up the drama…

The crew hops to their daily tasks, and provisions arrive. Tom is missing 1 kg of mussels and Malia and Bugsy investigate. They get it sorted, and the extra kilo of mussels shows up, but Tom is quite angry. The guests arrive, and the charter gets underway.

Aesha continues not gelling with the crew as she tells Jess her hair looks like – cat hair? I didn’t get it, and neither did Jess. She does bond with the guests, though, showing them her tattoo: her siblings’ first initials on her foot.

As they’re getting ready to go ashore for Frisbee, Bugsy bravely makes a bet with the guests involving Speedos for the team that loses… Rob, Jess, Pete (remember him?) and Aesha go play with the guests. The guests handily beat the crew 4 to 1, so Speedos for dinner?

Tom goes on break with Malia; while they’re in their cabin, a guest comes looking for cucumbers and Sandy bumps into them… Bugsy is on a break and Jess and Aesha are getting thrown around by the guests, who are showing them jujitsu – perfectly normal, right? Sandy goes to get Tom, and meets Aesha in the galley, explaining cucumber-gate. Tom gets snippy with Aesha because he’s angry he ‘can’t take a 15-minute break’ and he doesn’t know why Aesha can’t cut up a cucumber… When the guests ask Aesha for some avocado, she tries to get it; Tom then gets even more snippy and they end up getting into an argument, making poor Aesha cry…

Captain’s Log

This episode was a whole lot of filler. Among the tidbits:

  • The aforementioned power failure was a #nonevent.
  • Tom and Malia discuss the Rob and Jess situation and how they were banging “like jack rabbits” 3 weeks into their relationship. #Classy
  • Malia spends time making grilled cheese in the galley with Tom.
  • Alex and Bugsy continue to flirt.
  • The chefs are usually ornery folks on Below Deck, but Tom really seems to take it to new level. I get it could be editing, but he seems to fly off the handle at the slightest issue. He’s clearly not equipped to do this job in this state (taking over mid-season) and I have a feeling he won’t be doing any more charters any time soon…

    Next week, the drama continues: Sandy blows up at Malia, and the crew wears Speedos. Can’t wait! M

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