Sailing into the Sunset

Below Deck Mediterranean | Bravo | Season 5 Episode 20: A Mighty Wind

It’s season finale time for a truly tumultuous season of Below Deck Mediterranean The Saga of Rob and Jess!

Rob tells first mate David he’s in for the crossing. Later, he says it would be a great opportunity for him in order to see if he wants to continue in yachting (and to be away from Jess).

Sandy lets Malia drive the yacht for the final trip back to port, and Tom stops by the wheelhouse to see Malia in action.

Bugsy takes the guests’ breakfast orders while Jess does laundry. In an interview, Bugsy says she’s proud of the interior, and she thinks they’ve come a long way. She thinks there’s an expiration date on working in yachting, but she’s not settling down any time soon. On the flip side, Aesha says she thinks she’s done with yachting; she’s spent so much time serving other people and now it’s time to focus on her.

Alex says the deck team has had its ups and downs but Malia has been a great bosun. I think that’s true – there’s been relatively little issues or drama with the deck team, aside from Rob’s distraction. The editors make it seem like the last docking could go horribly wrong, but it doesn’t; Malia and crew guide the ship into port one last time.

The guests disembark, thank the crew, and leave. The crew has its final tip meeting, and Sandy says the interior killed it; the last tip is $20,000! Sandy also hands out “awards” in which she thanks each member of the team and rates them on The Beaufort Scale (from 1 – 12): that relates¬†wind speed¬†to observed conditions at sea or on land (via Wikipedia). She explains why they got their respective ratings, and it was a nice way to end the charter season. Afterwards, Jess talks to Sandy and thanks her for encouraging her.

Everyone gets to work cleaning; Malia asks Rob if he’s leaving with a girlfriend, but he says he doesn’t know. The crew gets ready for their final night out; Jess asks Rob if they’re “good” and he says they are, but Jess says they can be single for that night. #Communication? In the cab ride over, Rob and Jess go in separate cars, but everyone discusses them on the way to dinner. At the dinner table things get awkward quickly when Jess doesn’t want to sit opposite Rob.

Sandy talks to Tom, who kinda apologizes for being a jerk. Sandy basically says she knows how yacht chefs are. Everyone seems to be having fun except Jess, and the crew even gets to dance with some dancers at the restaurant. In an interview, Sandy says she loved the crew, despite the Kiko and Hannah situations; Sandy leaves the yachties after dinner.

The gang heads out to a club, where Jess tells Rob he’s completely “cold-shouldered” her. He says everything is always his fault… they sit down and continue discussing things. He says she was the one who said they could be single that night; she says nothing she ever does will make him happy. As the rest of the crew celebrates, Rob tells Jess she can go to Bali without him; she gets upset and walks off.

As a (really ripped) fire dancer performs for the crew, Bugsy goes after Jess, who’s in the bathroom – which is behind a false bookcase. Very cool, but very odd in this setting. Inside the club, the yachties run into the charter guests that just left the yacht! Rob chats up Hannah, who tells him he has a beautiful soul while Jess gets angry and vents to Malia. Jess says Rob’s ignoring her while going after Hannah, while Alex and Bugsy make out, and Tom and Malia are their usual PDA-tastic selves. The former charter guests leave, and the yachties leave shortly after.

The girls go in one cab, and the boys in the other; Jess cries and says she loves Rob and doesn’t want to cry over him. The boys discuss things and Alex tells Rob not to let Jess tell him what to do. And they’re all very drunk at this point, so no one will remember any of it, I’m sure. In any case, Malia tells Rob she thinks Jess really loves him, but they’re on different wavelengths at the moment.

Jess says she doesn’t know what Rob wants from her, so he can be single. And they’re still sharing a 2 foot cabin, somehow. The next morning Rob and Jess speak, and he tells her he’s doing the crossing; she says he’s “damaging” to her. She cries and asks him for a hug; she asks him not to do the crossing and not to “run from this.” He says he has a ticket to Bali and he has 2 days to decide what he’s doing… Rob says they should pack and just get off the boat; he kisses Jess as they go about packing things up.

Alex is the first to leave the boat, and he says he had a great experience. Bugsy sweetly kisses him goodbye and he takes off. Rob says his goodbyes, and Jess leaves with him; they hold hands and kiss once they’re off the boat. We learn that Rob did in fact go to Bali with Jess instead of doing the crossing. But in real time we know they’re not together (spoiler alert, to no one at all).

Aesha is next to leave, and happy to go home. Bugsy is next to go, and Sandy says it was a pleasure having her back. Malia and Tom are the last ones on the boat, and Tom says it was a pleasure working with Sandy (um, when?!). Anyway, Malia thanks Sandy for the opportunity to be her bosun, and Tom and Malia head out.

Sandy says this was the hardest season she’s had, but she’s so grateful to have the opportunity to work with everyone this season.

And that’s a wrap (almost) on Below Deck Mediterranean! There will be a 2-part reunion over the next few weeks, but I for one am happy the season is over. It really was the Rob and Jess show for most of the season, but there was so much drama and the most turnover I can remember on any season of any reality show! It was a crazy season, and there were some interesting guests and lots of drama – a lot of which was fake (thanks editors!). But what would a Below Deck show be without a little delusion? M

Bringing the Ship Home

Below Deck Mediterranean | Bravo | Season 5 Episode 19: The Bali is in Your Court

Back with the crew of The Wellington on this last charter! Last we saw Jess, she was fuming about Aesha touching her boyfriend (Is that the right term for him? It’s what I’m going with!) Rob’s bum, and we pick up with an angry Jess cleaning cabins.

Rob and Aesha join the guests on their excursion ashore, and in an interview, Rob says he didn’t even notice Aesha touched him; and he would have – because he has a sensitive bum. Don’t we all? Once they get to land, Rob continues talking to charter guest Hannah, as Malia heads back to The Wellington from dropping everyone off.

Jess tells Bugsy about GrabGate, and she says she needs to just cool off; in an interview, Bugsy says she’s just speechless. Later, Bugsy tells Malia what happened and that she was afraid of Jess. Probably smart! Malia then tells basically everyone else on the boat.

Aesha and Rob share some ice cream, and Aesha says in an interview it’s nice to spend time with Rob away from Jess (on a friend level).

Back on the boat, Bugsy tells Jess she should probably talk to Aesha one on one, away from everyone and just sort it out. Bugsy is not only great at being a Chief Stew, but she just has the most common sense, and always tackles things head on.

In an interview, Jess says she doesn’t think she has anger issues (and she probably doesn’t – but she definitely has serious jealousy issues.)

Bugsy picks up a bunch of wireless headphones for the guests as they’re going to have a “DJ Party” (I think she means “Silent Disco” but we’ll see…)

In an interview, Tom says he’s not happy about how he’s been acting (ya think?!) and he’s worried Malia will see him negatively. Bugsy interrupts Tom’s break when the guests get back to the boat, because they’re hungy… Tom goes back to the galley from his cabin, curses under his breath and gets some snacks ready for the guests. I’m sorry, but he did he know when the guests were off the boat? Take a break when they leave! Work smarter, is the moral of the story.

Tom makes a salad that has bacon, and one of the guests sends is back, because she doesn’t eat bacon; the rest of the snacks seem to go over well. Tom goes for a break again, and they take Sandy’s advice and write on a whiteboard in the galley that Tom is on a break.

Jess goes into the galley when Aesha is there, and Aesha tries talking to her, but Jess just kind of ignores her… until she says she has to get something off her chest…

Jess says Aesha’s hand went to “grabbing [Rob’s] ass”, and Aesha says she didn’t even realize she did it; he was wearing a backpack so she just put his arm where it could go. Aesha also says if someone touched her boyfriend’s ass, she wouldn’t even care; but she does apologize to Jess because Jess obviously does care.

Aesha’s energy is so positive, and Jess’ is so negative – it’s really a crazy polar opposite situation. Bugsy says she’s exhausted with Jess, and I can’t even believe she’s tolerated this situation for this long!

Jess and Rob spend some time on deck (while Jess should have been clearing plates, apparently), and they talk about Jess’ reaction to GrabGate. Rob asks her what she would do if they were out somewhere and someone approached him (a valid question!). He asks her if he’s allowed to be friendly towards Aesha, and she tells him he can (but basically she’s going to feel how she feels). He tells her he can’t do jealousy, and that it’s too much… as they are talking some guests walk by as Bugsy is searching for Jess and calling her on the radio.

Rob says he wants “fun and free”, and Jess says he and Aesha would be a great match. Bugsy continues to call Jess on the radio as she has a little breakdown and heads to her cabin. She finally tracks Jess down and talks to her about not checking out for the final charter. It’s obvious, but in an interview, Jess says all she cares about is Rob.

Meanwhile, Rob talks to Sandy in her office, about what’s going on with Jess. He says he wants to pursue a career in yachting, and he should talk to first mate David. In an interview, Sandy says she’s seen this type of thing before and she’s there to be supportive. Later, Rob does talk to David about learning more about yachting and how he can join him for more experience.

After his chat with Sandy, Malia talks to Rob about Jess and basically warns him about her. She says if she’s acting this way on a yacht full of people (with cameras rolling), how will she act when it’s just the two of them?

Tom actually smiles in an interview, because he’s happy it’s the last dinner of the season. At the last dinner, Malia is once again in the galley with Bugsy and Aesha running food. Everything starts out well enough… until the main dish is served, and one of the guests doesn’t eat beef. Aesha brings the dish back to Tom, and he seemingly has to scramble to come up with a replacement protein. He finds a piece of chicken, quickly prepares it, and asks Aesha to apologize profusely; she does, and the guest jokes about Tom getting his act together. Crisis averted!

The guests change into pajamas and head up to their party; Bugsy and Aesha follow in their PJs. The guests all get their headphones and the party is indeed a silent disco – which looks super weird. Fun, but odd. The guests all have a great time, at least.

Rob and Jess are frosty to each other, as he helps her clean cabins; the next morning they flat out argue. Jess says Rob is blowing things out of proportion; she says she’s ‘scared to love him anymore’, and he says that’s on her. He walks over to David’s cabin and tells him “he’s in” for going with him for more yachting experience, essentially ditching Jess and Bali.

Next week is the season finale (Already! But at the same time it’s been a long season…). The saga of Jess and Rob will come to its conclusion, and I can only hope we get some forward momentum with Bugsy and Alex (and Malia and Tom just go away, but something tells me there will be much more PDAs instead). There was so much drama this season, and it will be nice to tie it up in a bow and send it down the river Med. M

Captain’s Log

– Aesha calls her friend and talks about the Jess situation; her friends says Jess is a weirdo, and that basically sums things up.

– Malia and Alex take the guests on a tender cruise, and they all joke about Alex has been courting Bugsy all season. #Awkward!

– Rob runs into Aesha and apologizes for “what happened,” while Aesha apologizes too… and neither of them did anything wrong!

Tantrums At Sea

Below Deck Mediterranean | Bravo | Season 5 Episode 18: A Real Handful

When we last saw the crew of The Wellington, Chef Tom was mid tantrum about his provisions, and Sandy was telling Malia to stay out of Tom’s business (and his galley). Rob and Jess were blissfully copulating, and the rest of the crew was preparing for the last charter of the season. How time flies!

Tom goes to his cabin, and Malia follows him; he continues his meltdown, and tells Malia “Everything is f***ed.” Malia talks him down, and he goes back to the galley.

In an interview, Sandy says that if the chef is having issues, he should come to her, and not Malia. And she’s not wrong! The problem is Malia is Tom’s girlfriend, and one of the only people on the boat that Tom really knows.

Sandy calls Malia over the radio for a chat. Sandy tells her that she hopes Malia won’t leave the boat if Tom does, and that any issues Tom has with Sandy (or vice versa) shouldn’t affect Sandy and Malia’s relationship. Malia isn’t really okay with that, and tells her Tom isn’t going to leave, but he is her life partner and she basically needs to side with him, no matter what; ultimately though they agree to get the last charter done as best as possible.

Jess radios Bugsy and asks her if she’s expecting more provisions because the provisioner just pulled up on the dock; they deliver oysters, and halibut and scallops on ice. Bugsy takes the delivery and puts the box in the walk-in fridge as Tom goes to talk to Malia, who complains about her meeting with Sandy. Sandy sees Bugsy in the galley and asks her what’s going on, and Tom returns; Bugsy tell him she put the frozen fish away and he gives her an attitude, in front of Sandy. It was really uncalled for, and Sandy gets annoyed.

Sandy and Tom then get into it, as Malia and Bugsy watch; he tells her he’s busy and hasn’t had time to check on things. She asks him questions and he gets agitated and gives her attitude; she walks away from the situation before getting angrier. She calls the crew to the main salon for a meeting, muttering to herself “he can leave,” and she’s the “wrong person to piss off.”

At the meeting, she addresses the provision situation, and tells the crew she wants every one of them to feel supported by their captain; however, she won’t be spoken to the way Tom spoke to her. She gets emotional, and says sometimes it won’t be “the best.” She again tells them to make it a great charter, and they break.

In the galley, Tom asks Bugsy if he was out of order (yep!), but she says she didn’t hear their exchange. In an interview, Tom says again it’s a reputation thing, and he worked in whoever’s 50 Michelin star ultra super fancy restaurant. I mean, who cares, dude? Will you never get a job as a chef again, in any restaurant in the world, if some rich people say they don’t like your food? Sandy is right – things aren’t always going to be perfect, and you have to roll with the punches instead of throwing fits for every issue.

The all-female guests arrive, and the charter gets underway. Malia later gets her team together – including Pete (remember him?) – and tells them she’s going to name a lead deckhand, and as expected, it’s Alex. She thanks them for being a great team and they return the thanks.

Tom looks at the provisions that Bugsy put away, and again throws a tantrum; things still aren’t right, and he pulls Malia into the fridge and they get into an argument. Bugsy is running around trying to see what she can do to help, and runs into Sandy; Sandy tells her to calm down and that Tom’s energy is rubbing off on her. Sandy says Tom has provisions and he can cook, so Bugsy shouldn’t get swept up in his drama.

Tom gets through preparing lunch, with Malia again in the galley; Bugsy delivers everything and the guests seem happy. In an interview, Aesha calls him a spoiled British brat, and she’s not sure how Malia can find that attractive. He loses his mind (again) and stomps down to his cabin, where Malia again follows. Sandy asks the guests how lunch is, and they say everything is amazing.

The guests use the slide and water toys, and are having a great time. One of the guests, Hannah, falls off a jet ski and Malia tells Rob to go check on her; he gets on another jet ski and goes out to her – she’s fine. But as they are chatting, she gets stung by a jellyfish, on her arm. Rob takes her back to the boat and puts vinegar on the area (who knew?), while Jess glares at them from above. In an interview, Jess gets mad and says Rob’s “flirting again.”

Later, Bugsy asks Tom how he’s feeling about dinner, and he says he doesn’t know – and lunch was “just s***”. He says even if the guests are happy, he doesn’t want to give an “inferior” product. Mmmkay.

The guests are sitting around talking and one mentions she’s hungry; Sandy overhears and offers to have the guests start dinner, so they all go up to the table. Later, Bugsy starts delivering all the food and the guests are happy; she tells Tom as much. Tom calls Malia over the radio and asks her for help, and she comes to the galley (again).

The guests are having their own drama as two split off from the group and go to a cabin and complain about the others; later, two other guests do the same! #Drama! Later, guest Hannah runs into Rob and asks him to be in a group photo; he obliges, and Bugsy takes the picture. He stays and chats with the guests for a while, and they are all blatantly flirting with him. Good thing Jess was nowhere to be found!

The next day, Bugsy tells Jess that Aesha and Rob will be going ashore with the guests, and this does not make Jess happy. Before they leave, Jess tells Rob she’s jealous he’ll be with “all the girls,” and he tells her not to be jealous. Before they head out, the guests want to take a group picture with Rob and Aesha; they do, as Jess watches – and Jess sees Aesha touch Rob’s behind when the picture is taken, sending her into a jealous rage… she tells Rob she’ll “punch Aesha in the f***ing face if she touches [his] ass again.”

So the episode can really be summed up by “Tom throws tantrums,” and “Jess is jealous.” Alliteration aside, there was a lot of drama above and below deck in this episode, but most of it came from the galley, with a little Jealous Jess thrown in. She’s a fierce one, isn’t she? Poor Rob can’t even talk to another female without Jess getting batty. It’s almost like they don’t really know and/or trust each other. Go figure!

Next week: Tom gets mad, again! Jess confronts Aesha about GrabGate, and the guests get really picky, leading one of the crew members to call them “high maintenance.” On a super yacht? On Below Deck? Imagine that! M

Sous Chef Wanted

Below Deck Mediterranean | Bravo | Season 5 Episode 17: Something’s Fishy

As we rejoin the crew of The Wellington, we again see the scene from last week of Tom getting angry at Aesha – for apologizing to him and crying.

Bugsy sees Aesha is upset and talks to her about the situation, and apologizes to her (#irony); in an interview, Aesha appreciates how approachable Bugsy is.

Tom is annoyed about Cucumbergate; Malia apologizes to him, and he doesn’t go off on her. He says he’ll apologize to Aesha, but the damage is already done. Later, Sandy comes into the galley, and Tom says nothing to her; she feels that he’s angry and leaves. Sandy says he can either stay mad or choose to let it go. Even later, Aesha comes into the galley, but Tom is busy cooking and doesn’t address her, either. Later, Tom finally apologizes to Aesha and says he’s sorry he took out his anger at her.

Because Team Wellington lost at Frisbee, the crew wears Speedos over their uniforms and for some reason stuffs them with… small towels? Not only didn’t their Speedos look suggestive, they just looked like they stuffed towels in them. It was odd.

Tom talks to Malia and says he’s there because of her, and he doesn’t want to be angry around her all the time. Which he has been, since the second he came on board. That night, dinner is delayed because the primary isn’t ready, and Malia is hanging out in the kitchen helping Tom; later, she helps Bugsy clear plates – something I don’t remember any other bosun doing, frankly. When the guests rib her for not wearing a Speedo, Malia throws one on; ultimately they’re happy with the food.

Rob and Jess decide it’s a good idea to be on a lower deck getting friendly as the guests eat dinner above them. Malia notices them, and tells them they need to cut it out. You’d think this would be obvious, but Rob says “Little Rob” took over his thinking.

The next day, Sandy comes into the galley and greets Tom, and he doesn’t address her; he’s still being frosty towards her, but tells her he’s just tired. Malia texts her mom, Mary, and says she’s been traveling around Spain and will be at the dock when they arrive; Mary watches The Wellington pull into port. She greets Malia, Sandy, Busgy and Tom on the dock as the crew gets ready for the guests’ departure; later, Malia shows Mary around the boat, and then Mary leaves.

When the guests leave, the primary guest gives a little speech and instead of a tip, gives each crew member a card that represents an invitation to a weekly Tuesday dinner at his house in Malibu. At this point, it should be obvious as the show goes to commercial that he’s going to turn around and give them an envelope full of cash as a real tip. This season has had its fair share of drama, but it’s also been the season of fake outs. Catastrophic power outage?! Nope. Guests didn’t like the food?! Nope. Different guests didn’t like the food?! Nope.

Obviously, the guy gives a real tip. At the tip meeting, Sandy says people are getting tired, and brings up Cucumbergate; they have one more charter in the season, so she wants everyone to finish strong. Later, Malia and Tom talk about the tip meeting and Tom is annoyed the Sandy called him out. In an interview, Malia says she sees both sides but is conflicted.

The crew goes out, but Rob and Jess stay on board to Netflix and chill. At dinner, Alex says half the people there (Tom, Bugsy and Aesha) weren’t there in the beginning of the season – which is kinda crazy. I have to think this has been the most turnover of any season of Below Deck history. #JusticeForKiko. Nearly as bizarre is the fact that Pete (remember him?) is there, but severely edited out of the season. Not saying it’s not deserved; it’s just strange how this dude is just part of the show, but no longer part of the show.

The next day, the crew gets ready for the final charter. Malia tells Sandy she’s going to name a lead deckhand for the last trip… gee, who could it be? Rob, who Malia constantly reprimands, Pete (remember him?) or shining star Alex? Hmmm.

Provisions arrive, and the crew gets to loading them up. Tom is annoyed that the fish delivered is not refrigerated, and calls Malia into the galley to see the state of things. Malia goes to get Sandy to explain what’s going on, and Sandy tells her Tom should be talking to her about it. Tom does, and asks what they should do, and Sandy calls the distributor, who talks to Tom. The guests are arriving in an hour, and they need the fish for lunch, and Tom can’t serve the fish as it was delivered.

Tom gets frustrated, calls Malia and tells her he’s done; he asks how he’s supposed to get everything done… Sandy calls Malia out of the galley and says she needs to stay out of the galley and Tom’s business. She says Malia is filtering information from Tom, through her, and he needs to talk to Sandy directly. Malia says Tom is going to walk off the boat, and she says to let him…

So Tom is still angry, Jess and Rob are heading for trouble (involving a guest!) and tensions flare as everyone gears up for the final charter (and final two episodes) of the season! What a crazy season it has been – and I can only imagine it will end just as crazily as it began. Here’s hoping. M

Captain’s Log

  • Jess (sometimes) still can’t figure out Aesha’s name, and calls her ‘Ayeesha.’
  • Aesha asks if there’s any sexual tension between Bugsy and Alex or “if it’s just a drunk thing,” but Bugsy awkwardly says there is no tension.
  • Alex asks Aesha if it was awkward jumping into this charter season, and she says it most definitely was.
  • On the boat, Rob and Jess discuss what they’re doing after Bali; later, they go to bed in the guest cabin (after getting permission from Bugsy).
  • Why isn’t there someone dedicated to helping the chef on these charter seasons? Pay someone something and have them be a sous chef! The chef position is a full time job and probably the most stressful!
  • The trailer for the new season of OG Below Deck has dropped, coming this November. Let the shenanigans at sea continue!

Let Sleeping Chefs Lie

Still full of couples

Below Deck Mediterranean | Bravo | Season 5 Episode 16: Cool as a Cucumber

This week on Below Deck Med: couples doing things! Just a guess, but let’s see what the crew of The Wellington actually got down to this week.

In the club, the yachties party some more, and they go back to the boat. Bugsy takes a tumble, but they all get back in one piece. Jess tries to talk to Rob, but he doesn’t want to engage and goes for a walk. He ignores everyone when he gets back, which really makes Jess angry and sad. Sadgry? In the morning Rob continues not wanting to talk and tells Jess he needs some space. Good luck with that? They argue, and seemingly wake everyone up.

Later, Jess breaks down to Bugsy and tells her that Rob wants to ‘hit eject’ on everything. Bugsy tries to play mediator and makes them sit together to talk. They do, and make up, again! Seeing a pattern here?

Aesha tells Malia she’s been feeling very homesick, which is why she was crying at the club. Later, she calls her brother and cries that she doesn’t want to be there. I can’t imagine being so far away from my family for so many months at a time.

Later, as the ship is docking in Mallorca, the boat suddenly loses power and alarms blare. Sandy says she can’t control the boat and they may hit or run over something. She says to drop the anchor as an engineer says he’s ‘sorting it out.’ He reboots the yacht, somehow, and the boat comes back to life. From the preview last week, this looked like a complete disaster; on the episode it lasted less than 5 minutes. I’m sure it was a bit scary, but you could tell they were really trying to ratchet up the drama…

The crew hops to their daily tasks, and provisions arrive. Tom is missing 1 kg of mussels and Malia and Bugsy investigate. They get it sorted, and the extra kilo of mussels shows up, but Tom is quite angry. The guests arrive, and the charter gets underway.

Aesha continues not gelling with the crew as she tells Jess her hair looks like – cat hair? I didn’t get it, and neither did Jess. She does bond with the guests, though, showing them her tattoo: her siblings’ first initials on her foot.

As they’re getting ready to go ashore for Frisbee, Bugsy bravely makes a bet with the guests involving Speedos for the team that loses… Rob, Jess, Pete (remember him?) and Aesha go play with the guests. The guests handily beat the crew 4 to 1, so Speedos for dinner?

Tom goes on break with Malia; while they’re in their cabin, a guest comes looking for cucumbers and Sandy bumps into them… Bugsy is on a break and Jess and Aesha are getting thrown around by the guests, who are showing them jujitsu – perfectly normal, right? Sandy goes to get Tom, and meets Aesha in the galley, explaining cucumber-gate. Tom gets snippy with Aesha because he’s angry he ‘can’t take a 15-minute break’ and he doesn’t know why Aesha can’t cut up a cucumber… When the guests ask Aesha for some avocado, she tries to get it; Tom then gets even more snippy and they end up getting into an argument, making poor Aesha cry…

Captain’s Log

This episode was a whole lot of filler. Among the tidbits:

  • The aforementioned power failure was a #nonevent.
  • Tom and Malia discuss the Rob and Jess situation and how they were banging “like jack rabbits” 3 weeks into their relationship. #Classy
  • Malia spends time making grilled cheese in the galley with Tom.
  • Alex and Bugsy continue to flirt.
  • The chefs are usually ornery folks on Below Deck, but Tom really seems to take it to new level. I get it could be editing, but he seems to fly off the handle at the slightest issue. He’s clearly not equipped to do this job in this state (taking over mid-season) and I have a feeling he won’t be doing any more charters any time soon…

    Next week, the drama continues: Sandy blows up at Malia, and the crew wears Speedos. Can’t wait! M

Take a Chill Pill in Ibiza

Below Deck Mediterranean | Bravo | Season 5 Episode 15: Shot Through the Heart, and Ibiza’s to Blame

Picking up immediately where we left off, Jess is sitting on the swim platform and Malia is tending to her. Malia radios Captain Sandy, who says to tell Jess to come see her. She goes back to her cabin to change; Rob says Jess is just anxious from the conversation they had. Jess goes to see Sandy and Sandy takes her blood pressure; it’s slightly elevated but Sandy said she had palpitations and it led to heart attack, so she wants to be extra cautious. Jess seems better, so she gets back to work. In an interview she says her relationship with Rob is taking a physical toll on her.

When the guests get back to the boat, Johnny Damon tries to hit some baseballs off the swim platform but is quite drunk. For dinner they are having a Great Gatsby party, and the guests, deck crew and stews are all in costume. Still a little drunk, Johnny sends back his steak to make it a little more well done. Ultimately though, everyone loves the dinner. We’ve had enough chef drama, Below Deck. Enough with the idea that the guests don’t like the food, please and thank you.

In the morning, Alex is looking for Rob, who is still sleeping. Jess runs to get him and he jumps out of bed to relieve Alex. Malia gets up and walks around the boat, complaining that it looks terrible, and seemingly starts doing things Rob should have done. She tells him she doesn’t want to see him and Jess kissing on deck; clearly he’s doing that instead of working.

Bugsy compliments Jess on her tablescape and the laundry; she says Jess has ‘done really, really well.’ Sandy calls Jess to the bridge and thanks her for being on top of things. Rob teases her and asks if she’s gotten her first compliment, which was genuinely funny. Jess again says how Bugsy’s structure is helping her. #Obviously.

Rob says his relationship with Jess is making him screw up. When they dock, he throws a line but drops it in the water several times. They finally get through it, and Rob overhears Malia complaining to Busgy about him; he says he’s entitled to make mistakes and she’s being a bit rude. Malia then tells Alex he needs to be wherever it’s critical because she can’t deal anymore.

The Damons leave the boat, and Malia has a chat with Rob about his mistakes. In an interview, he says he knows he’s screwing up; he tells Malia he understands. Sandy says the crew is getting better with Aesha and Tom, and the crew gets an $18,000 tip.

Aesha and Jess discuss boatmances; Aesha tells her about Jack and Jess tells her she and Rob have already said they love each other. Later, Aesha, Rob, Jess and Alex are talking, and while Rob is talking to Aesha, Jess is talking to Alex and somehow (?) this leads to a fight between Rob and Jess. Rob says he didn’t want to interrupt Jess and Alex’s conversation, and Jess says she didn’t want to interrupt Rob and Aesha.

Afterward, Jess goes to talk to Rob and he’s a little cold to her. She goes to talk to him again and she gets mad that he was ‘ignoring’ her; he says he was just having a light conversation with Aesha. They both say they don’t want to argue and Jess walks away. Later, in an interview Rob says Jess was just jealous; she apologizes and they make up.

Aesha gets a call from her brother and says this crew is bit harder to gel with than the crew last year. And it’s true! We see a flashback to last year, and Aesha had Jack, Colin and Anastasia to hang out with. This year, she’s on the Love Boat, with all couples: Bugsy and Alex, who are just starting up, Malia and Tom, who can’t keep their hands off each other, and Rob and Jess, who are kissing one second, fighting the next.

The crew goes out to dinner in Ibiza, and it’s all couples + Aesha (and Pete – who is there but heavily edited out, as promised). Jess realizes she may have seen Rob the year before; this somehow leads to another fight, because Rob basically doesn’t care. He says ‘they’re there now’, so what does it matter, and Jess doesn’t appreciate that. The crew heads out to the club, and Rob tells Tom he can’t do anything right where Jess is concerned. Rob shows Aesha how to make a can of Red Bull suction to her palm (is that a common thing people do?), and Jess gets angry; in an interview she says she doesn’t want to watch Rob flirt with “Ayeesha”. Later, Jess tells Rob she thinks he’s already done with her; he says she’s projecting, but the episode ends with Jess telling Rob she’s ‘done.’

Stray Thoughts Ahoy

  • At the closing party, Michelle Damon straddles Aesha and makes her drink; she says ‘Don’t tell Captain Sandy!’ The guests are super drunk and having a great time in Ibiza.

  • Aesha calls Bugsy a s*** stain, and explains how it’s a term of endearment. Mmmkay. Did she call people that last season? Don’t think so?

  • Johnny apparently pees off the side of the boat; there was definite pixelization…

  • Tom prepares breakfast and Bugsy finally knows how to say ‘huevos rancheros’!

  • Alex and Bugsy (finally) kiss. Here’s hoping no one gets diabetes from all the sweet, sweet love happening on The Wellington. M

Hoping for a Home Run

Below Deck Mediterranean | Bravo | Season 5 Episode 14: Whole New Ballgame

Aesha Scott is back, so The Wellington has a new second stew, and it’s off to Ibiza! Sandy introduces Aesha to everyone, and in a confessional Aesha says she knows Hannah’s not there anymore but no one wants to discuss the situation. Probably better that way! Aesha has such a sunny attitude (about everything), and hugs everyone on the crew; she’s also excited that her first charter will be with the Damons.

Bugsy tells Aesha she loves her attitude then fills her in on what’s been going on. Aesha says she and Hannah are close so she’s heard about Bugsy, but she’ll make her own assessment. I forgot that Aesha and Jack were last season’s Rob and Jess! Aesha reports they’re not still together. #NotShocking.

After a tight squeeze into the dock (with a huge audience of people, by the way), Sandy tells Malia she did a great job; Tom says the same in their cabin. Malia, no matter what else, is extremely good at her job.

Johnny and Michelle Damon, along with their guests, arrive and Sandy ominously tells them they want to “make it up to them [especially] in the food department.” Be careful what you promise, there, Cap!

Adena, a drunk guest, falls over with her glass and gets cut; Malia comes over and gives her a Band Aid. Crisis averted! Apparently she does this kind of thing – the Damons tell Aesha that she broke some of their wedding wine glasses! Aesha also mentions Adena was on a charter last season, too, but with the Queen of Versailles. She apparently really likes the Med, and alcohol!

Bugsy says Aesha is already doing great and things are just working. Be careful what you say, there, Chief!

Tom says he ‘has to be perfect’, so… no pressure. His first meal goes really well, and the guests say the food is already better than last season, right off the bat. Tom says he knows nothing about baseball, but creates a baseball theme (complete with a baseball dessert), and the guests enjoy everything. Tom, no matter what else, is extremely good at his job (so far!).

In a confessional Rob says his ex-girlfriend reached out to him, and he doesn’t know how to tell Jess. He eventually tells Jess about it, and she says she doesn’t care. Later, Jess and Rob text and he asks her not to make “[the situation] about herself.” Alex tells Jess she should see both sides and try to be understanding; Jess doesn’t want to hear it, and says Rob should “block the bitch.” Logical, I guess? Jess tells Rob “Demon Jess” can emerge every so often, and in a confessional admits that she “destroyed [an ex’s] new house.” Something tells me she’s not speaking metaphorically; I can imagine Jess ramming a car into this dude’s living room.

Bugsy throws a funky neon dinner party, complete with colored tutus for the stews. Some of the guests wear neon, others put face paint on, and I really have no idea what this was supposed to be, honestly. Johnny tells Sandy his food wasn’t piping hot, and Sandy runs to Tom to make sure Johnny’s food is like magma. In the madness of trying to keep the food at volcano-levels of heat, Bugsy drops a cloche that was covering a plate to keep it like the surface of the sun. She, Malia and Sandy are all running around and Bugsy says “Tom will freak” if she brings it back, and in a confessional, Tom says he’ll freak if it comes back. Malia runs to tell Tom that Bugsy dropped a plate, and he goes into action to prepare another. The guests enjoy dinner, and Sandy says Tom recovered nicely.

The guests, Pete (remember him?) and Aesha go to an end of season party ashore, which Aesha describes as a “weird drunken circus.” She’s not wrong! In the meantime, Sandy tells the crew to play with the water toys while the guests are away, and they happily do. After jet-skiing, Jess says her heart’s beating really fast, and she sits on the swim platform to rest; Malia tends to her and calls Captain Sandy as the episode ends (she’s in the preview for the next episode, so I’m guessing she’s just fine).

Stray Thoughts

  • Jess, for some reason, is salty about not being promoted to second stew. Maybe it’s because she lets laundry pile up, hooks up with Rob all day and complains when people ask her to work?

  • The guests use the water toys, but are terrified of the 1 (?) jellyfish swimming somewhere (?) near the boat. No one gets stung, obviously. Nice try, editors.

  • Jess begrudgingly admits things have been easier since Bugsy took over as chief stew. Imagine!

  • On a jet-ski, Alex tells Bugsy he’s just happy she’s there. Aren’t we all?! M

A Familiar Face in the Nick of Time

Below Deck Mediterranean | Bravo | Season 5 Episode 13: Welcome Back

Previously on Below Deck Med, Hannah got fired! That’s really all we need to know, right?

Picking up where we actually left off, Bugsy throws out some potatoes and Tom goes a little nuts. He’s very frustrated, cursing up a storm, as he prepares the rest of dinner, and of course, the cake that was thrust upon him. At least the guests seem to like the rest of the meal? Sandy finally seems happy with her chef, at least. Tom makes the cake, but complains about ‘being a circus monkey’ when they go sing happy birthday to one of the charter guests.

Rob and Jess talk about Bali, and they’re getting a little sickening. #NotJealous.

After dinner, Tom calms down and Malia tells him he was amazing, for having just been thrown into this situation. It’s true; he really did smash it with that cake, and things can only get better from here once he’s got a rhythm going…

The next day, Bugsy says she’s got a lot to handle with only a staff of one; Tom kills breakfast and the guests are really happy. Bugsy and Tom discuss the guests’ beach lunch. I personally hate eating outside and beaches, so this is my worst nightmare, and I can’t imagine how annoying it is to set things up – even after watching so many season of Below Deck.

Bugsy, Alex and Pete go setup the beach lunch; after a shrimp cocktail mishap, the crew gets Tom’s delicious-looking food over to the beach. The guests again seem happy. Some guests go back to the yacht, while others pose naked and take pictures on the rocks. Is this a normal thing to do? When in Spain, I guess.

Alex and Bugsy continue flirting, and they’re getting a little sickening. #StillNotJealous.

Malia’s having issues with the deck crew; they don’t seem to be listening to her and she’s getting fed up. She already seems to be spending a lot of time in the galley with Tom, trying to keep him from melting down. She calls the deck crew fu**ers because they didn’t listen to her; in the crew mess, Rob asks Malia why she’s angry with him, and tells her he’s upset she called him that name. Sandy is sitting there for this, and gives her 2 cents (insubordination isn’t cool); Rob moves on, but complains to Jess.

After a belly dancer performance, some guests are unhappy with their dinner; they say the chicken is pink and under cooked. Bugsy returns the chicken (which Tom says is fully cooked – it sure looks like it!), and Tom cooks it some more. Alex, at Bugsy’s request, joins the belly dancer for round 2; he gets shirtless and Bugsy drapes some fabric around him. He dances with the belly dancer to put on a show for the guests, and they seem to appreciate it.

The charter guests notice the interior crew seems to be down a person, and the crew does seemed to be stretched to its absolute limit. Right on cue, Sandy complains to Jess that laundry is piled up, and tells Bugsy “it should never be” like this. Not sure what she expects when the whole crew is helping run food and clean cabins, but okay!

On the last day of charter, Bugsy has never heard of huevos rancheros – the absolute best breakfast, anywhere, really – and mispronounces it a bunch of times (love those cheeky editors with their subtitles!). As the guests leave, they seem to be really happy with everything. They leave the crew $20,500 and Sandy seems happy with the team. She lets them know they are getting a second stew for the next charter, which will be in Ibiza (and the charter guest is a returning Johnny Damon)!

Jess gets her finger splint taken off, and while she’s off the boat the crew discusses Rob wanting to surprise her with the fact he’s changed his plans (and flight to Jess’ flight) to join her in Bali. Busgy comes up with an elaborate set of notes to lead Jess around the boat to end up on deck, where Rob is waiting.

After 5 (!) notes, Jess finally finds Rob and this is all now very sickening. #NotAtAllJealous.

Five hours before the next charter, the new second stew arrives, and it’s Aesha Scott from season 4! Now that they have a full crew, what could possibly go wrong?! From the preview of next week, lots!

Stray Thoughts

  • Jess complains that whenever she and Rob are together they get interrupted. It’s almost like they’re not getting paid to hook up… weird!

  • Having Tom on the boat is definitely pulling Malia’s focus; she seems extra annoyed at everything. Rob did the right thing confronting her about her management style – if my boss called me that I’d be upset and want to discuss it, too – but ultimately she can’t manage her team and help Tom for every meal.

  • I liked Aesha last season and think she’ll bring a great energy to the interior team. Bugsy is hyper and Jess is the polar opposite of hyper, so if Aesha can take some work from both of them, they’ll hopefully calm down a bit. M

Maritime Law

Below Deck Mediterranean | Season 5 Episode 12: There’s No Place Like Home

Picking up right where we left off, Sandy confronts Hannah about her drug possession: a prescription for Valium and a pot pen.

Sandy shows her the incriminating picture and asks Hannah to bring the drugs to her. Hannah tells Sandy she hasn’t taken Valium since she’s been on board, but we are shown footage of Hannah very clearly picking up the Valium package and going into her bathroom (sneaky editors!).

Hannah goes back to her cabin and Sandy follows her “to make sure it’s not being destroyed”; Sandy takes the drugs. Back in Sandy’s office, Hannah asks her what she should do. Sandy tells her with everything going on, she can’t go to sea with Hannah, and she’s going to finish the season [without Hannah]. Sandy says she doesn’t want to take any risks with her reputation and the law; Hannah asks for her Valium back, thanks Sandy and tells her she’ll go pack her things.

Sandy explains that due to maritime law, there’s no tolerance for this type of behavior, and what Hannah has done is illegal. If something were to happen, Sandy could be arrested, the boat incarcerated, and she could lose her license. Malia later echoes this, saying “it’s maritime law,” and they have to protect themselves from potential lawsuits if anything were to happen and Hannah wasn’t able to fulfill her duty as chief stew (or fails a drug test). #Understandable, but the situation is still a little gross, all around.

Hannah goes out to the dock and calls her boyfriend; Sandy goes out to talk to her. She says her hands are tied, legally, and she doesn’t want to go out to sea with Hannah the way she’s been – referring to Hannah’s anxiety attacks. Hannah says that’s bull****, and when Sandy tells her she cares about Hannah, Hannah doesn’t believe her. Sandy tells her she could have fired her years ago, and gets very annoyed that Hannah thinks she doesn’t care about her. She tells Hannah “Now, officially, I don’t f****** care” and tells her to pack her things and get off the boat.

In a confessional, Hannah calls Malia a snake for reporting her; when she tells Jess what happened, she says the industry is ‘dog-eat-dog’. Hannah packs her stuff and bumps into Bugsy and Malia; she tells Bugsy what happened, and says “apparently you can get fired for having anxiety attacks.” Hannah tells Malia what Sandy told her; Malia asks if her drugs were registered with the boat and Hannah tells her she doesn’t remember.

Hannah says her goodbyes, 2 hours before the next charter is to begin, and leaves the boat. “This is how it ends?!” she asks as she sits on the dock, smoking a cigarette. She says she’s very aware of maritime laws, and she should have registered the drugs; ultimately it was just a mistake on her part. We see a montage of Hannah’s time on the show – the good, bad and ugly. She says she’s sad to be leaving yachting, but the next chapter will be so much better. Thank you for your service, Hannah! It’s been a wild ride.

The crew says they can’t lose anyone else – 2nd stew, chef, and now chief stew – it has to be a new record! Sandy asks Bugsy to take over as chief stew, and Bugsy agrees. Bugsy says she’ll do whatever she can to carry on; she scrambles to come up with a game plan. She is very hands on with Jess; she shows her how to make drinks and makes lots of lists for her. Bugsy says too many times chief stews expect their stewardesses to just know how to do things. I think given the resources, Bugsy will be an excellent chief stew; it’s been clear for a while Hannah’s heart wasn’t really in it anymore…

Sandy and Malia say they’ll probably see a change in everyone after this incident, and Malia explains she had to get special permission to take Benedryl for an allergic reaction, let alone a controlled substance. Sandy says an entire boat was seized because one weed joint (!) was found. Maritime law is serious! Sandy has a meeting with the crew and explains what’s been going on. The guests finally arrive and the charter gets underway!

Tom gives his lunch menu to Bugsy and they seem to quickly work well together. The deck crew pitches in with running food; the guests seem happy… but Jess lets it slip that Tom is new, and the guests ask Sandy if she’s eaten his food yet. They complain about being served veal, but ultimately praise his food – disaster averted! The guests do ALL the water sports at once, seemingly stressing out Malia; one jet ski tips over but it’s all good.

The guests tell Bugsy they want to do a birthday party that night, off from their original schedule. Tom rolls with this, but gets annoyed at having to make a last minute cake; he complains to Malia in their cabin. Tom has a few issues with food prep and oysters; he continues to be flustered in a very British sort of way, but carries on.

At dinner, the guests mention the oysters all have grit and shells in them. Bugsy tells Tom about the shells, but the guests just want to move on to the next course. It’s lobster, which the guests say is raw; Bugsy brings them back to Tom, who pan fries the pieces of lobster, but gets angry and says he has “too much self respect for this.” Seems like Tom is off to a rough start, but just needs to find his groove. We’ll see how it goes!

After the episode, a trailer for the rest of the season was shown that includes:
Sandy telling the crew that insubordination won’t be tolerated, Johnny Damon is back, belly dancers, jellyfish, Ibiza, trouble in paradise for Rob and Jess, Tom saying he’s ‘done’, difficult docking, Malia chastising Rob, Sandy telling Malia to stay out of the galley, Sandy yelling at Tom, and Tom getting very angry. #RoughWatersAhead

Stray Thoughts

  • Sandy calls her headhunter Norma, again, and tells her she need another second stew! The Wellington is single-handedly keeping Norma in business.

  • Rob says his relationship with Jess has only gotten stronger and he’s considering going to Bali with her after the charter season.

  • There’s a sex toy that somehow makes the rounds around the guest cabins – the less said about that the better, I think. But Alex did get a kick out of it.

  • [Spoiler Alert] It’s a Below Deck Med mashup, as the new second stew is reportedly Aesha, from last season! Here’s hoping she, Bugsy and Jess are able to work together with no drama… M

Couples, Cabins and Contraband

Below Deck Mediterranean S5 E11: Cabin Fever

Now with 100% less Kiko

I already miss Chef Kiko, easily the happiest and most even-keeled (pun intended) of all the chefs who have ever been on a Below Deck franchise. We get to see his teary goodbye with Hannah again, and as she and Rob waive farewell, Malia and Bugsy discuss Malia’s chef-boyfriend, Tom, and what it would be like to work with him.

Sandy has the tip meeting, reminds the crew that charters are a business, and thanks them for not letting the below deck drama affect the guests’ experience. The tip is great, and Sandy tells the crew they’ll get a day off at a beach club.

Bugsy and Alex continue their flirt-mance, and they discuss waxing Alex’s chest. Romantic? A little later, Alex calls Bugsy to the hot tub… to look at his hairy back and asks if she’ll wax him. While Pete looks on, she actually waxes him….

Malia is on the phone with Tom and tells him about the chef vacancy on the boat; she tells us he’s on the way to the UK to visit a sick family member. Malia says she’ll talk to Sandy to see if Tom can stay on the boat; Sandy says yes and mentions wanting to talk to him about finishing out the season as chef. Tom arrives, comes on the boat and meets the crew – mid Alex wax – before touring the boat and galley. Someone [Bugsy] decorates a guest cabin for Malia and Tom. Aw.

Tom meets Sandy, and he thanks her for letting him stay onboard. Sandy asks Tom about his “mad skills”, and chats with him about his resume (the guy has got lots of experience, for sure). Sandy asks him if he could help her out this season, and Tom agrees, because he’ll be able to spend more time with Malia. Sandy thanks and hugs him, but he lets her know if anything were to happen with his sick uncle, he’d have to leave.

The crew gets ready to party and they head out in their minivans. At a bar, Hannah is sad because she misses her boyfriend, Josh, and asks Rob and Jess for support since she lost Kiko. Jess says they’re there for her, and Hannah goes back to the boat. When they get back to the boat, Rob again tells Jess he loves her, and Jess says she is in love with him; Rob “speaks her same language.”

Malia asks Hannah if she’s feeling alright, and Hannah says she’s having curry-related stomach issues. Tom, in his new Wellington shirt and confessional, asks “What has Malia gotten me into this time?” So Tom is officially on board as the new chef, just like that!

Sandy calls a meeting to tell everyone Tom will be sticking around; Hannah looks upset, but everyone is relieved. Hannah tells Sandy she’s sick and won’t join the crew at the beach club. She explains in the confessional that if she has a problem with Malia she’ll automatically have a problem with Tom, and vice-versa, and she doesn’t really want to deal with that. Valid!

The crew goes to the beach club, which has a bar, lounge chairs, and of course, the beach. They hang out, drink and take pictures; Rob and Jess get super friendly on a lounge chair. Jess says she’s flying to Bali after the season and asks Rob to come with her; he says “maybe” and takes a bunch of pictures of her while they carouse in the water. Hannah is on the boat recuperating, but every single person at the beach club (even the bartender and minivan drivers) thinks Hannah is lying about being sick. Sandy checks on Hannah, who tells Sandy she’s not doing well; in her confessional, Sandy says she’ll be there for Hannah, whatever she needs.

All the couples and Pete go to dinner, and they discuss Tom’s pedigree. He’s worked with Gordon Ramsay, and we see pictures of a young Tom and get some backstory. Tom seems like a good dude, and I’m sure he’ll be up to the task of being the Wellington’s chef. They discuss cabin arrangements at dinner: Rob will move in with Jess, and Tom with Malia; Bugsy says she is not okay with rooming with Hannah. Malia in her confessional says Bugsy should just get over it.

The next day, Hannah is still sick; Bugsy goes about doing things because Hannah didn’t give them instructions for the day. Malia says Hannah could have texted the stews… Malia then talks to Hannah about cabin arrangements; Hannah says rooming with Bugsy isn’t going to happen, but Malia says hopefully they’ll be professional about the situation.

Hannah talks to Bugsy, and they agree they shouldn’t room together. Hannah tells Malia they don’t want to change cabins, and Malia gets annoyed that they won’t accommodate her and Tom (and Rob and Jess). Speaking of Rob and Jess, Hannah says she shouldn’t have to cater to people who have been hooking up for 3 weeks; Malia gets more annoyed and tells Hannah to “man up” and share a cabin with Bugsy. I can see both sides here – Tom just kinda showed up and Hannah shouldn’t have to change rooms just to accommodate Rob and Jess. Malia says they need to make room for a new team member; Hannah says there is room for Tom… bunking with Rob!

Malia says “you hired Tom,” but Hannah fires back and says she didn’t hire Tom, which is 100% accurate. Hannah and Malia go back and forth; Malia calls Hannah a f***ing idiot in her testimonial. Sandy asks Malia what’s wrong, and Malia explains the situation. Sandy takes Malia’s radio and decrees Malia and Tom will be staying in Kiko’s old cabin, and Rob has to find a new place to go. Everyone basically laughs it off, except Hannah, who doesn’t hear Sandy because she’s on the dock with headphones in.

Malia, Hannah and Tom have a preference sheet meeting for the next (3-day) charter. The guests want a beach lunch one day, and an Arabian nights party on another… fun! Bugsy tells Hannah they’re going to be rooming together, and Hannah reluctantly says it’s okay.

Rob moves in with Jess, and Jess thinks it’s weird that she and Rob are effectively now living together; she says she doesn’t like the pressure. Not sure what she expected, there?

Malia says she doesn’t understand why people are afraid of Hannah; Malia definitely isn’t. So there’s tension between Malia and Hannah, and when Malia is cleaning our her bathroom stuff, she says “dammit”…. Hannah tells Tom to let her know if he needs anything as he’s setting up his galley, and that night they all blissfully sleep in their new cabins.

But that night, in the dark, we see Sandy get a text message (not explicitly from Malia… but it’s from Malia) that says “I’m sorry but I need to report this” with a picture of a package of Valium next to a case with the initials “HF.” The next morning, everyone gets up, and Sandy asks someone named David to “be there for the whole thing.” Hannah comes looking for Sandy; Sandy tells her to sit down because it’s been brought to her attention that Hannah has drugs on board, as “TO BE CONTINUED…” flashes across the screen.

Stray Thoughts:

  • Hannah and Alex discuss Bugsy, and Hannah can only say Bugsy’s good at table decor.
  • Bugsy tells us her sister actually hooked up Tom and Malia, and that yachting is indeed a small world!
  • Is the conspiracy theory that they wanted Tom to be the chef this season but he couldn’t do it, so they hired Kiko? When Tom became available, they fired Kiko and brought in Tom? This makes more sense than Kiko being fired for not being a great chef, because he was, for the most part (nachos and a few complaints aside). Though if this theory is true, the production company and all involved are diabolical geniuses!
  • Here’s some context, as you may be wondering (as was I) about boats and medication: Malia (on Twitter, I think) explained that anyone on a boat needs to let the captain/crew know if they are on medication; a person cannot take medication unless under the supervision of a medical officer on the boat, even if it’s a prescription for that person. The medical officer basically needs to clear the person for duty, and it was Malia’s obligation to report the drugs to Sandy, since she found them. So now things make a little more sense!
  • I’m guessing this is what prompts Sandy to say “I should have fired you years ago,” (paraphrased), but perhaps we’ll see next week! M